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It’s the most wonderful time of the year — or is it?
When you’re fighting for a parking spot at Ala Moana Center or rushing to yet another family get-together, you may find yourself wishing that January would hurry up and get here.
The holiday season can cause all kinds of stress, from worrying about finances to keeping up with the next big toy trend. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Take a second to stop and smell the plumerias. Slowing down and focusing on what truly matters can help you and your family create a more positive and fulfilling experience.
HAVE BOUNDARIES
Your children are perceptive to your moods and reactions. If you’re stressed out about your shopping list, they’ll view gift giving as a stressful experience. If you stay cool and calm, they’ll learn to do the same.
Part of what makes the holidays so stressful is our own willingness to take on more than we can handle. Those of us with big families and hānai relatives fill our calendars with holiday parties. We make Spam musubi for the office potluck and cookies for our children’s teachers. Every commitment adds up and cuts down on time spent with our loved ones.
This year, say “yes” only to what’s important to you. See Tūtū on Christmas Day but decline the invitation to your cousin’s friend’s brother’s get-together. Cook your child’s favorite dessert, but pick up a pan of fried noodles for the family dinner.
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FOCUS ON COMMUNITY
It’s easy to get caught up in the materialism of the holidays. Your kids may be begging for a new computer game, and you’ve got your eye on the latest iPhone. However, the season presents a wonderful opportunity for you and your family to refocus on what’s important.
Look into volunteer opportunities in your community. Ask your kids about what they’d like to do in service of others. You could spend time with kūpuna at a nursing home, serve lunch at a homeless shelter, or pack up foods for an organization like Meals on Wheels.
Volunteering helps stimulate conversations with your children about the aloha spirit and giving back. You can talk about the importance of community, helping people in need and supporting causes you’re passionate about.
Some other tips for engaging your kids and ensuring your holiday season is merry and bright:
- Start or keep a tradition. Give your kids fond holiday memories to look forward to year after year. Create traditions, such as cooking a special dish or seeing the lights at Honolulu Hale.
- Have your children help out. Assign small tasks from your to-do list, such as hanging the stockings or organizing the Christmas lights.
- Make time for self-care. Holiday burnout can make you feel grumpy or depressed, which affects those around you. Carve out 30 minutes to go to the gym or treat yourself to a massage.
- Don’t overspend. Never spend money you don’t have on presents. Instead, get creative and have your kids help make cookies or candles to give as inexpensive gifts.
- Avoid your stress triggers. If the crowds at shopping centers are too stressful, try online shopping instead. If rush hour traffic makes you crazy, plan to leave during non-peak travel times and kill time at a beach or coffee shop.
Tina Porras-Jones is vice president of community building programs for Parents And Children Together, a leading Hawai‘i nonprofit providing social services and early childhood education to nurture the relationships that matter most for children and families. pacthawaii.org
