The Importance of Date Nights for Busy Parents

Being a parent has to be one of the toughest and most demanding jobs in the world. There’s no clocking out at 5 p.m., it’s a 24/7 commitment, with no holidays or sick days.

The responsibilities and pressures keep us on our toes and sometimes the emotional roller coaster has us on the edge of our seats.

To function effectively, the CEOs of the house (Mom and Dad) need to communicate and work well together. Balancing two, sometimes three jobs to pay the bills can pose challenges.

Yet despite all of this, being a parent is the most rewarding job in the world and I wouldn’t change a thing.

I can’t imagine life without my son, Ensen, and daughter, Avery, and certainly my awesome wife, Kelly, who is the glue that holds the family together. I always knew she would be an incredible mother and she continues to inspire me daily.

But you know what they say, all work and no play…

We know that life is certainly not dull with children, but, like all jobs, the need to relax and refuel is essential in order for us to be the best we can be. This is especially true for the CEOs of the house.

Date nights for Mom and Dad are technically part of the job description (didn’t know that, did you?). It is important and okay to get away without the kids now and again.

I know, easier said than done. Like you, we adore spending time with our kids and we enjoy taking them places with us. We see every opportunity as a chance to create a family memory together. In doing so, we fail to reward ourselves as parents for our hard work and find ourselves drained and disconnected from each other from time to time. Sound familiar?

Admittedly, we are getting better at making time for each other. We definitely feel more energized and refreshed after our date nights, and are committed to spending more time together.

Since many of my “colleagues” may be looking for ways to jump on the bandwagon, here are some tips to help make that task easier:

• Plan Ahead. We’ve found that it’s imperative to set a date for the outing so that you are committed. While spontaneous dates seem like they could be more fun, the reality is life happens and you’ll probably never get to it. It’s also a good idea to plan ahead for your sitter’s sake, too. We’re fortunate to have families that are always willing to take care of our little monsters.
   
• Maximize the Time Together. Date nights for Kelly and me usually consist of a nice dinner at one of our favorite restaurants. During that time, we do our best not to talk about the kids and try to catch up on everything else outside the family. The focus is on each other. We typically parlay our night out to catch up with friends, many who are parents themselves. A nice way to let loose every now and then and relive those good ‘ole college days.

• Leverage Work Events. As a public relations executive, I have the opportunity to attend more events than I possibly can. For the ones that I commit to, I bring my wife if it is appropriate. It might be a food festival, opening night at an art gallery or on the set of a television production we’ve coordinated to get to Hawaii. Using work events as date nights might not be the sexiest option, but sometimes you need to do what you need to do. And trust me, I only choose the ones I know Kelly would enjoy.

• Don’t Worry, Be Happy. I love this line by singer Bobby McFerrin and it’s the way I try to live my life. It’s hard not to think about the kids while you’re out on the town. The temptation to call and check in on them is always there, but, remember, you’ve left your kids in good hands … likely with grandma and grandpa or maybe uncle and aunty … and they’re likely having a great time without you. So, don’t worry. Enjoy these few hours alone and be happy to be having some well-deserved Mom and Dad time.

Nathan Kam is a Honolulu public-relations executive, husband and a proud daddy of two incredible kids, Ensen (5) and Avery (2), who enjoys cooking, gardening, traveling, blogging and golfing. You can reach him via email, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn or via his personal Kam Family Blog.